Case Study: Conor

Something I wrote a few weeks ago for the IPT

His name was Conor. He had been playing online for about 6 years and like the overwhelming majority of service-users, he was losing. Badly.

Despite an initial hotstreak and a handful of strong finishes earlier in his story; Conor had been on a downswing more or less for years. By the time he came to my attention, he was down a significant sum (approx the average industrial annual salary). His preferred games were HUSnGs (25+ buyin) and HU Cash. The problem was obvious after reviewing a few random hand-packets, Conor was playing beyond his ability; consistently.

He was not a bad player in a general sense but he was definitely weaker than the level required typically for his stakes – especially HU. Unfortunately no one ever explained this to him or he never took it onboard.

After a particularly bad few days; where he admitted to depositing his entire month’s pay within a few hours of receiving it (and losing it), he exploded and sent an incredibly emotional rant to support. This lead to his case being escalated directly to me.

From the moment I reviewed his case and history; I had made up my mind: Conor needed to be permanently closed for his own good. His transaction history; playing habits and the overall player-profile he presented were deeply concerning. His latest email (it was a plea for help and reimbursement coupled with other concerning admissions, etc) illustrated that he finally realised he’d gone too far. The sad part was that, in many regards, this moment of clarity came too late for intervention.

Now it is rare that an operator will decide to outright permanently close a player without first trying to intervene and engage with them. Naturally; depending on the customers motivations and circumstances; you would try to work with them; offering limits or restrictions to aid them, strict caps to help with bankroll management or just general quality of life. Here though; any of that would have just been prolonging the bleeding. On some level, I imagine Conor realised this himself.

So I closed his account, explained the reasoning for my decision and signposted him to financial support and debt services as well as gambling harm resources. I also arranged for all currencies Conor had within his account to be consolidated and issued to him asap as a FINAL WITHDRAWAL – the total amount would have gone some way to easing his immediate problems (rent etc).

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Conor’s story is hardly unique. I encountered 1000s of players just like him. You reading this; you probably know a few yourself who mirror-onto Conor’s story. The reason why Conor’s story stands out to me is because it perfectly highlights a blindspot far too many wannabes have – they dont actually evaluate and study their play.

Conor seemingly just chased ‘that big win’. Why not. It mapped early in his journey but it was probably more luck and circumstance than his innate ability. When he started playing more frequently; he zeroed in on one of the hardest formats; HU and never seemingly stopped to really reflect on his ability – was he swimming too far out?

I believed he was.
Actually – I know he was.
He was a Yellow Belt grappling with Black Belts – for alot of money. Over and over again.

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It’s easy to reflect now and say what Conor should have done. That would be of no help to him.

The best recommendations though for anyone who is seeing themselves (comfortably or otherwise) reflected in Conor’s story are these:

-NEVER move up stakes until you have cracked the one you are at. Conor jumped pretty soon after his first win because he conflated his results with him capability. This turned out to be a grave mistake. As I said at the beginning – he wasnt a bad player. Had he stayed in the shallow end and honed his skills there before trying to conquer the next rung– he might have become the black bet shark rather than the yellow belt chum!

-Study your results. Please. For someone who played as frequently as he did and again – the format he did – he admitted to not knowing how any of his recent sessions went. He knew he was losing but not by how much or how often. I asked him questions about his approach and why he played certain significant hands the way he did (general game theory) he did not know. He had completely lost track of his financial spending and his outcomes… he was playing on autopilot and out of desperation.

-He never once used a deposit limit or time-out. There are and were features available-throughout to help him – he never used them. Even when he would occasionally get an automated outreach signposting him – he just ignored them. I asked him why. He didnt answer.

Conor Study Conor: Now What?

I am sure by now many of you will have read my last article, in which I recounted the story of Conor and how his initial small wins turned into serious + lasting gambling harm.

Eventually Conor’s situation became so dire and detrimental that (as I stated previously), by the time he came to my attention – the damage was done.

I would like to pivot here and say that Conor is a complete exception and outlier to the mean. I would like to say that.

The truth is though – Conor is not unique because most of us; as poker players and recreational gamblers; are losing: we start with X amount (via our deposits or bankroll or buy-ins or whatever) and we finish with Y amount (but only after we have engaged in some form of gambling-like activity for however long).

The dream is to finish each one of the X -> Y scenarios with more money than we started (Y > X), and that unfortunately is how far too many people (Conor included) look at this game we love.

The reality is to finish most sessions with less than you started (X > Y). I am sure if most of us stopped and looked back at a session result report and transaction balance audits over years – we are down…. And that can be okay. Normal even, and it doesn’t necessarily track that every losing player will become Conor-adjacent.

So please stop and consider before you read any further:

“Am I losing or winning long-term? / am I making more from this than I’m spending on it?”

“If I am a losing player – how bad is it really?”

“What can or should I do to tackle this?”

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Now to be perfectly clear and honest – I cannot teach you to make more money playing poker. Let’s just get that tied up right here and now.

It is a long time since my job was Player Advice and Education around:

• Strategy,

• Bankroll Management

• Mindset

Lessons and Cautionary Tales is not about making better winners. It is about dispelling a lot of the noise that floods the Player Welfare space:

• a lot of the myths

• half-truths

• outright muck

So I can’t help you make more money but I can help you spend (and lose) less… and a dollar saved is a dollar earned.

Basics Lesson 1:

Set a deposit limit today. Right this very moment, and stick to it.

Test yourself and your self-discipline. Let’s consider this a learning exercise or an experiment.

Set a value that you can easily afford week on week (my own recommendation is about 5 – 10% of monthly recurring/predictable income).

No more.

For any reason.

Ever.

Conor did not do this, as we have all learned. Conor deposited and burned his entire income (~100%).

I could write 100,000s on Deposit Limits and how they are (in my humble opinion) the single biggest x10’er in online gambling since the proliferation of broadband.

Basics Lesson 2:

Never ignore the outreach or interventions. I know these seem banal and bland but it isn’t. Believe it or not; the Intervention Emails or subtle Chat Prompts you receive from an operator or event-staff aren’t hollow exercises. They really aren’t.

See these interventions are triggered when there is a noticeable change in expected behaviour from a player. Think about it – in this game; observation, predictability, recognition are paramount to success (a lot more too but this is The Basics). If the machine or the staff spot that you are suddenly acting out of character – shouldn’t you? And what if you don’t or can’t see it in yourself – doesn’t it make rational sense to appreciate that others have the situation awareness to raise this with you?

Conor never engaged. Not once – and he did get a lot of outbound welfare checks in before I got involved.

Sure you can be sceptical and even cynical at times but what would it actually cost you to treat these with some demeanour?

“Hi Mr X; we have noticed that you have been depositing and spending a lot more in the past month than you have in the last few years.

A rich aunt dies and leaves you a fortune OR is there something else going on? Are you okay?”

What if the Tournament Director tapped you outside and asked you for a quick chat in the smoking area:

“Mr X – what’s going on? You don’t seem yourself lately and the way you’re spending – it doesn’t look like you. I’m serious now when I ask this – are you okay?”

This isn’t Mammy-State or Overreach. It’s genuinely staff doing their job – checking in on you as their customer.

I’m not pretending the quality of comms from all outreaches will be stellar [some are shocking] but the fact that it is done at all can give you some solace and hopefully guidance as to how you are really doing lately (not how you think you are).

Doesn’t it feel a little less daunting and more reassuring when you know someone will take notice.